I came from a religious background, but in my 6th grade year we moved to Florida and my life really took a turn. After the move, private religious school wasn’t working out so I was sent to public school.
Slowly all my religious teachings and basically all Judaism flushed out the door and my new life started unfolding. My fun was drugs. I went from weed to coke, then on to pharmaceuticals, to acid, and to K (animal tranquilizers), you name it. I was in trouble with the law many times while I left my parents at home and worried sick.
Before coming to Tzofiah my life was not content. I never thought about life because it scared me. You wonder how low you go before you turn yourself around.
Since coming to Tzofiah, a new chapter of my life has unfolded. I’ve made commitments with myself to stay off drugs because I want to know the real me. Without Tzofiah my relationship with my parents would probably be non-existent, and I still would not really know how special I really am.
I want to thank the school for all their help, and I hope that in the future they will help many more girls like me. |
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I couldn't find one anywhere. Every door was closed, or if they opened at all they would slam shut soon after. Every once in a while I was able to get a glimpse at that picture past the doorway. It was always just beyond reach. Soon the doors became fantasies, and dealing with the present was more important. Survival was needed to get by every day. Numbness took the place of all feeling. There seemed to be nothing left. For sure not doors! Those were replaced a long time ago by things that worked better.
Things that completely took my mind off any of that painful stuff. It was a great help. There was always something available, right down the block, I never had to go too far. Things that would make me feel like I could fly, and see things that weren't there, and feel things that I've never felt before. But they were causing more problems instead of helping them. I was getting caught with those precious little things. I'd end up in places I didn't remember going to. Life was if anything, getting worse and worse.
Once in a while that fantasy of the open door would slip through my mind. It was always locked, and then chased away, who wanted to waste time on things that would never be reality? But somehow it settled in the back of my mind as an ache for a way out. Then out of nowhere, it seemed, it appeared. The open door came as a pamphlet across the kitchen table at my friend's house. 'But how could it be'? I asked myself? I had long ago given up on it, was it worth it to try? Why not? I finally convinced myself. Things can't get any worse. The voice was nice and friendly. It offered encouragement and hope. All the way from across the seas, in Israel, my open door came. Now life is completely different. There are no more fake escapes, and the numbness is disappearing. Gone is the feeling of no one being there. For the first time in my life I feel at home, and belonged. Tzofiah is the name of that miraculous open door.
Thank you Tzofiah.
Thank you for a new beginning, a new life. |
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Wont you come out
Where you've been hiding
Show me
Look at me G-d wont you please
The eyes are shrouded in pain
Distraction makes me happy
For the moment
But can't the moment be spent with you
G-d wont you please
I need strong energies
I want to feel safe
Secure with what is being given
Give me what's good for real, G-d wont you please
Can you send a holy soul - innocent from violence
A giving heart - doubts erased by answers
To come, call to me, just listen and answer
G-d wont you please |
